Fast Food Douche Bags Strike, $15 My Ass

Oooooh Weeeeee! It can’t get anymore real out there in the street with McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, and Church’s Chicken “workers” striking because they don’t think they are being treated fairly. When I say “treated fairly”, I mean they don’t believe they are being paid enough. *Rolling on the f*cking floor* Let me see if I can wrap my head around their logic: We think we can demand double the cash, in FAST FOOD no less, because we work hard, take care of a few customers, flip burgers, mop the floors, and work the drive-thru?! (I almost lost my breath I’m laughing so hard.)

Fast Food Douche Bags Strike, $15 My Ass

Fast Food StrikeLet’s get the obvious stuff out of the way right away. It’s apparent these losers are not going to get anywhere near $15 per hour, for visible reasons. One being you can’t demand a 100% raise ($7.25 to $15.00 now…I can’t stop laughing) without having added any value to your position. Follow me, we flip burgers and hand it to customers, and we’re saying we want double the money for doing the same thing. It’s no wonder the poor stay poor.

These idiots are a bigger drain on the system than welfare recipients…and that’s saying a lot! This is nothing more than a bunch of pathetic opportunists looking for their version of a slip-and-fall on your property. I suspect this baseless greed is coming from a feeling of entitlement inherent in the latest generation. The bad thing is, it seems to be rubbing off on some baby-boomers as well. Now let’s talk about this money fast food “workers” are demanding.

When I first heard fast food douche bags were asking for $15 an hour, I laughed so hard that my eyes welled with tears and my abdomen hurt from the frequent contractions (good ab workout). After sobering from my comedic stupor, I had to ask the question, “How can we justify asking for a 100% raise when nothing has changed in our job description?” The simple answer is…we can’t. You expect me as an employer to pay my “workers” double, yet they’re doing the exact same job as they’d been doing before? I’m back to giggling again.

If an employee brought more customers to my company, improved my marketing to make it more effective, or devised an incentive program for my loyal customers, then I could see paying more. What’s that? It’s not in your job description? Then neither is $15!

As a fast food laborer, this move is a set-up for failure. Let’s assume we gave fast food help $15 an hour. Do you think I, as an employer, am simply going to let the high cost of your greed bring down my business? No. Therefore, my 5 employees at $7.25 an hour just became 2 employees at $15. Problem solved. If we don’t like what our job offers or how we are treated, we always have the freedom to leave and find somewhere more conducive to work. Then why don’t we? Pure and simple laziness.

It’s amazing to me. Most of these staff members are bored, shifty, lazy, and uninspired in their jobs, yet when it’s time to strike (trying to get something for nothing), all the creative energy and big mouths open. Can they we be anymore contradictory? I’m thinking this short-lived, on-going foolishness will last about 5 days, ending when they realize they don’t have anything to eat and the kids are hungry. If anything happens from this, they might get 50 cents, if anything at all. Oh, and there’s one thing we are forgetting, there is no barrier to entry for a fast food job. Anyone off the street can come in and do what you do. Specialized knowledge pays, general knowledge is posted on Facebook.


15 Dollars An HourLet’s say we own a business. It’s taken us 5 years to build up a good business which supplies the owner with a moderate lifestyle. The business is not pulling huge profits, but it’s making it. There are 5 employees working at our business for $8 an hour. After 3 months of work, 3 of our 5 workers decide they want $16 an hour or they walk. We can’t afford that without eating into operating costs or profits on a continual basis. How do we solve this problem? Let them walk! Then ask the other 2 employees, “Would you like $15 an hour?” That’s how a free market works. It’s cheaper for me, I’ve got less people to manage, and I’ll become more efficient out of necessity.

As for the fast food slaves, I get it. You want more for doing the same or less and to be honest, I don’t blame you. It’s the same premise as playing the stock market. People are gambling with their hard earned money to try and get a big something for doing almost nothing. There’s just one thing you’re forgetting, employees are on the wrong side of this game. Employers can gamble, while employees watch their retirements being wagered in a game of corporate blackjack.

Lately, I’ve been hearing in interviews from welfare-participating single mothers talking about how many kids they have. No one told you to lay down with numerous men you didn’t know (that left incidentally), leaving you holding the bag, literally. It pisses me off to no end that my tax dollars go to subsidize lazy, entitled, maternal skanks who leech off the system. If your kids can’t eat because you don’t have the drive to better yourself to provide a better life (and make better choices in men), then give them up for adoption. After that, you can go find another loser to hook up with. There’s a nice gutter on 5th and Pine for you and your next child. (Just kidding…but not really)

Let’s be serious, burger-flippers and chicken grease jockeys can’t possibly think they should be paid more than paralegals, medical assistants, dental assistants, pharmacy technicians, or veterinary technicians. Do they? These motherf*ckers ought to be ashamed. I agree that $7.25 per hour is not a livable wage, but it’s one that goes along with this position. So why haven’t these people moved on? They know they’ll never go improve themselves to do anything else.

There’s a reason these people are in these jobs. In my experience, the simplest jobs in the world make the most money, while the lowest-paying jobs in the world force us to work the hardest. It’s not hard to do, it’s just what they are used to. If working the fast food industry is the end of your occupational road, you don’t want much. Good luck on your journey to $15 an hour, I have no doubt you’ll get there…in 2035! LMMAO

Mystery Man

Professor X


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