BJ: Your Wallet Is Tired Of You Not Feeding It

I’ve already gone on about how you won’t have any money for the first 30 years after graduating college due to the unforgivable, sky-high loans doled out by your local money-hungry, business-minded university. That’s all for that. If I haven’t made a mark by now as to why you shouldn’t go to college, then I’ll help you go into heavy debt if that’s what you want. (Here you go; here’s another one)

Your Wallet Is Tired Of You Not Feeding It

Angry WalletThat 30-year period after school where you’ll be working as a slave to our US government to pay back your student loans will set you up for a hard life, one I don’t think you want. One other thing will not be in your favor…your wallet will try and bite you in the ass because it’s pissed at you!

We pay everyone else before we put any money into our own wallets. How f*cked is that? Before we can even see our own money we’ve worked so hard for, it’s been subtracted to the point that we may not be able to buy our own groceries or even patron the new, $100 million X-Men movie. FML!

Here’s an example: The average person in America makes $38,500 per year. After a 40% tax rape (f*ck you Uncle Sam), we are left with $23,100. If you have a cheap mortgage of around $950, that comes to $11,400 for the year. So we are left now with $11,700. I’m assuming we don’t ride the bus to work and you have car insurance, at which I’ll price those at $300 for the care payment and $100 for the insurance. That’s another $4,800. Now we are down to $6,900 and still going. You might say, “Whew, I still have some money left over to live on”. True, but not much. If we divide that $6,900 by 12, we are left with $575 per month…BUT YOU HAVEN’T EATEN YET.

Most family’s can spend half of $575 in a week on food for the family, and if we’ve got a newborn, forget about it. So how do we survive if the funds run dry and there’s too much month left at the end of the money? Credit. Again, we’ve completely neglected to feed our wallet, and now it’s furious! How would you feel if you didn’t eat month after month? Super-pissed! It’s a good clue you should not use credit when they are calling you every night saying, “F*ck food for your family, pay us!”

You’ll notice in my example, there is no money left over to pay your student loans back. We are paying student debt off with credit cards (which some have stopped allowing us to do), thus, we are only trading one debt for another. (Hint: we can discharge credit card debt in a bankruptcy whereas we cannot in regards to a student loan.)

Your wallet should be your favorite pet. It want to wag it’s flaps, lick your face, and pay for your unmentionables. That’s hard to do when you never, ever put anything in it. This sickening metaphor is another manner of saying we should be paying ourselves first. Anytime we get some cash, a predetermined amount should be put aside for us in savings or an investment. If this is not possible, tell the phone company to f*ck off, and do it anyway!

Later SINFMers!

Mystery Man


Professor X

Leave a Reply